Cold weather grips the East. You can tell it's frigid in Washington, DC. To keep warm, Joe Biden now sticks both feet in his mouth. (Alan Ray)
It so cold here in New York City, the Statue of Liberty is holding her torch under her dress. (David Letterman)
It was so cold here in New York, Donald Trump cuddled with Rosie for warmth. . (Conan O'Brien)
If you thought those "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" dudes were morons...you should have seen Dick Cheney trying to dicker in the Judge's chambers about his upcoming testimony at the Scooter Libby trial. He said he'd only answer questions about his hair. (Gorsefeathers, RadioOnline.com)
TimeWarner has agreed to pay $2 million to the city of Boston for the Cartoon Network advertising campaign that caused a widespread bomb scare. Most of the money will be spent on giving the guys who pulled the stunt a bath and a haircut. (Jake Novak)
More and more candidates are running for president in 08 and the campaigns are lasting longer than in any other presidential race. More than a “Presidential Race” it looks like a “Presidential Marathon.” (Pedro Bartes)
The Globe tabloid reports that Laura Bush wants a trial separation from her husband. There's no way the President can keep her in the marriage if she doesn't want to stay. He doesn't have enough troops left to surround the White House. (comedian Argus Hamilton)
Reportedly, the Bush's marital problems revolve around the same question as most marital problems -- over who's really The Decider? (HaBlog)
Of course, The Globe is not the best source for White House gossip. So we'll check this week's National Enquirer to be sure. (HaBlog)
Congratulations to Vice President Al Gore. He has been nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. Luckily for Gore, Florida doesn’t vote on this one. (Jay Leno)
There's a rumor floating around that the producers of "American Idol" may replace Paula Abdul with another judge. They also plan to replace Ryan Seacrest -- just as soon as they figure out what Ryan Seacrest does. (Toms Lake Humor Company)
The Eagles are coming out with their first album since 1979’s "The Long Run." You can tell the Eagles are getting older. This album is called "The Long Run to The Bathroom." (comedy writer Alex Kaseberg)
