Robert Gates, the White House choice to be the next defense secretary says we are not winning the Iraq war. So at least we know he can read a newspaper. It's incredible. Even an Aggie knows what's happening! Maybe if Bush could read the paper Congress wouldn't have to pass a new education program, "No President Left Behind." (HaBlog)
The Senate is in confirmation hearings for Defense Secretary nominee Robert Gates. The job's not that hard. The last guy to leave Iraq won't even have to turn out the lights because we never got the electricity going in the first place. (comedian Argus Hamilton)
In a newly leaked memo written my former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld just hours before he resigned from his position, Mr. Rumsfeld proposes firing himself as the cornerstone of a new strategy for the war in Iraq. (BorowitzReport.com)
Hugo Chavez was reelected in Venezuela. His success baffles the U.S. How can a control freak who won’t listen to others or care about his image to foreign nations ever get elected president? (Alan Ray)
First Lady Laura Bush was on TV unveiling the White House menu for Christmas Dinner. ... For dessert, I guess they're going to feast on whatever or whoever Dick Cheney shoots that day. (Jimmy Kimmel)
Keith Ellison from Minnesota, the first Muslim elected to congress wants to be sworn in with a Koran. Of course, if he starts taking bribes he gets his hands cut off. (Jim Barach)
Barach Obama reminds me of Bill Clinton. In the sense that he also doesn't tell Hillary what his plans are. (Jay Leno)
In a survey, most video gamers preferred the Nintendo Wii over the Playstation 3. Video gamers gave the Wii "Two Thumbs Up.. Well -- they would give it two thumbs up -- but their thumbs were swollen and paralyzed from playing too many video games. (Toms Lake Humor Company)
Lindsay Lohan's publicist says the 20 year-old star has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Not to stop drinking, but just to be around other incoherent people. (Jake Novak)
According to "Yahoo," Britney Spears was the most popular search term of the year. Most of the searches were done by her two kids trying to locate their mom. (Pedro Bartes)
