Horoscopes

VIRGO
Avoid becoming involved in a romantic interlude while inside a recreational vehicle — especially if you're driving it at the time!
AQUARIUS
Today you will meet a tall, dark stranger, 6', 190 pounds, bulging muscles, expert in karate, nearly trimmed moustache. No matter how attracted you might feel toward this stranger, don't get involved ... because her husband is extremely jealous.
LIBRA
Avoid becoming romantically involved with any man whose hobby is blowing smoke rings through his nose - in spite of the fact that he doesn't smoke.
TAURUS
Although it's true that you are attractive to members of the opposite sex, the position of the stars indicates that you're mistaken in your belief that Sister Maria is secretly sending you coded love messages when she calls out the bingo numbers every Wednesday night at the church social.
LEO
Today's a good day for playing practical jokes. Sneak into a hospital operating room, tap the surgeon on the shoulder and playfully ask, "May I cut in?"