Horoscopes

CANCER
Seek out great challenges today. Try to get Johnny Dare to join your Sensitivity Training Class.
LEO
Up until today, your moon was in its third house. This morning, however, it moved out of its third house and bought a condominium on the beach... and forged your name to the mortgage.
VIRGO
Today you will shock the music world by announcing that you've discovered a copy of Mozart's legendary, long-lost "Concerto for Electric Guitar in E Minor."
LIBRA
Now is the time for a bold financal move. Try to corner the market on Nerf Balls.
SAGITTARIUS
Impress your date with how cultured you are. Ask her if she's ever seen that great play, "The Glass Menagerie," by Tennessee Ernie Ford.